that I may know Him

Hi, it’s me again, it’s the girl who always overshares what she’s learning and talks too much about her struggles in life.  

Here’s the honest truth: dating is fun but it also sucks. With each date you become more brave and willing to meet new people, while more sure you’ll never find a guy you love more than your dog. Just me? Whoops! I was in church this morning, honestly a little sad that once again it didn’t work out. My heart was discouraged and I kept thinking those scary thoughts us single people do: what if I’m going to be alone forever. 

And then, like He always does, He met me. Overwhelmed with His presence and the words to How Deep the Father’s Love for Us, I began to crumble into a humbled mess.

“Behold the man upon a cross

My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed, I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life

I know that it is finished”

The simple truth of the gospel, John 3:16, that we always overlook because of its casual appearance on jerseys, shopping bags, and billboards. He SO loved me that He died for me. He sees me. He knows. And He loves me far too much just to give me what I want. 

As if this song didn’t have me in my feels enough, No Longer a Slave was next. My anthem I cried so many times during anorexia and binging. Once again I felt Jesus tell me, “remember what I’ve done. Remember what I saved you from.” He loved me too much to leave me alone in my slavery of food and obsession. He loves me too much now to stop leading me to more and more healing when I didn’t think more was possible. He split the seas in the Old Testament and He split them for you and for me. To bring us to freedom and to Himself. By remembering what He’s done in the past I can trust Him with the future, because He’s a God who still sees me, loves me and knows me. 

Friend, remember what He’s brought you through and if nothing else, remember the cross. He had your yesterdays. He has your today’s, and thank goodness He has all the tomorrows. He sees you. He SO loves you that he came to die for you. And He knows. 

 “But everything that was a gain to me, I have considered to be a loss because of Christ. More than that, I also consider everything to be a loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. Because of Him I have suffered the loss of all things and consider them as dung, so that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having righteousness of my own from the law, but one that is through faith in Christ — the righteousness from God based on faith. My goal is to know Him...” Philippians 3:7-10a