For You are with Me
Here I am in the NY airport killing time because my flight was delayed. I haven’t written a blog post in so long and figured I’d share what I’m learning!
Hard things make me think and force me to grow. When hard things come or when God seems to not do what we think He should do, we have two choices. We can determine He isn’t good and think we know better. Or we can believe regardless of how painful, confusing or shocking the situation is, that God is good whether it feels that way or not. See, I think life shocks us cause we were made to desire and only be fulfilled by pure Goodness, so our letdown not only proves Gods existence but his absolute goodness.
He’s literally thrown Psalm 23 in my face consistency the last month. In a book I read, song a friend sent, and a sermon I listed to. Psalm 23 just represents life as a believer in my opinion. There’s sweet and beautiful times and there’s days you can’t get out of bed unless the Lord pulls you up Himself. But what He’s shown me is that our situations don’t have to change around us to experience His goodness and peace and mercy. In the midst of the valley of the shadow of death, David knew he didn’t have to fear. Not because he liked his circumstances or because he saw them ending anytime soon, but because the Lord was with him. In the middle of his enemies, literally enemies surrounding him, he could sit down just with the Lord at the table of nourishment - only found in his Heavenly Father. Jesus tells me “I know what you’re going through, I know pain and I’m right here. What do you need? A hug? You got it. Energy to just get through today? I can give you that. A glass of living water or the bread of life? Sit with me at the table and enjoy everything you need. I’m enough and I’m right here.”
He doesn’t always explain the whys or the outcomes or even how He’s using it for good, but He promises to never, ever leave. And one day when we turn around, we’ll see goodness and mercy were following us all along.
I like to picture standing before the throne. One day when I see Jesus and enter heaven. Can you imagine that? Woah. I heard Francis Chan talk on this one time. That one day we will stand in heaven and before God almighty. Glory all around us and all we will hear is words expressing God’s holiness. He said to close your eyes and picture it. When I imagine this moment I like to wonder what I’ll be thinking about. Will I be worrying about the details of my life on earth? Will I think about those valleys that felt so painful and how I wish they hadn’t happened? I think I’ll just be amazed in His presence and wish I had loved, trusted and known Him deeper regardless of my circumstances. I’ll wish I hadn’t worried about the things I lost sleep over or that I’d never chosen things over Him. Psalms 23 also points us to this moment we experience eternity. In the Screwtape Letters, CS Lewis has a excellent quote referring to not focusing on the past or the future. The concept of the book is a little strange so I’ll explain. It’s about spiritual warfare and describes conversations between demons on how to meddle in humans lives. So the “Enemy” is actually God from their perspective.
“The humans live in time but our Enemy destines them to eternity. He therefore, I believe, wants them to attend chiefly to two things, to eternity itself, and to that point of time which they call the Present. For the Present is the point at which time touches eternity. Of the present moment, and of it only, humans have an experience analogous to the experience which our Enemy has of reality of whole; in it alone freedom and actuality are offered to them.”
The song I mentioned above is “I Belong to Jesus” by Bethel and it’s been on repeat. The bridge goes,
When the rain fell
When the floods came
When the wind blew
I was okay
'Cause you were right there
You're in every step I take
When the night falls
When my heart aches
If I stumble
I will not break
You'll be right there
You're in every step I take
So we focus on right now, no matter our circumstances, the table set before us with our Abba Father. And we set our eyes on the day we see Him face to face and dwell with Him forever. This is how we celebrate in the green pastures, and survive in the valleys. He’s right here. This is intimacy with Him and after experiencing it first hand, there’s nothing I’m more sure of than the goodness of God.
Psalm 23
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.