Happy are the Poor in Spirit

I remember it like it was yesterday. I ran inside, laid on my mom’s bed sobbing and said “it hurts!” while placing my hand on my heart. My first breakup was then end of my freshman year of college. It was when I felt my brokenness for the first time. 

Recently two of my close friends have gone through breakups and while trying to type an encouraging text to one of them I started crying myself and hated that she was going through this because I remember the pain so well. I know those who have been through hard times can look back on their first breakup and smile thinking how silly it was to be so upset. We laugh thinking, if only our teenage selves knew the difficulties life would later throw our way. The death of a spouse, a cancer diagnosis, and so many other horrific situations come to mind. But I want you to back up and remember that pain is pain and we shouldn’t compare it. It’s so easy to look back on things we thought were hard and say “I didn’t know how easy life was then.” I’ll be the first to say that I have no idea what some of you reading my words are going through so hear me out when I say, that summer five years ago was the most pain I have ever felt. It was my first love, my first relationship, first kiss and first date. The first time I had ever given part of my heart away. And no matter the good that came from the relationship ending, it felt like the person I was in love with had just died and my heart literally hurt. I felt empty and unable to control a thing. It was the most pain and the largest blessing. I saw my brokenness for what it was. 

The church I attend in Austin, Texas has been tremendous to my growth. The service today was one of those “the Lord just slapped me in the face” kinds of sermons. I saw my sin in a way that brought me to tears and so in love with my Jesus. I’ve heard so many people, and myself, say “God wants me to be happy so this is what I should do,” It’s true He actually made us to be happy! But where we mess up is trying to find happiness in anything but Him. C.S. Lewis says, 

“God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing.” 

John Piper, one of my favorite speakers and authors wrote “Desiring God” and the whole book basically backs up the statement, 

“God is most glorified when we are most satisfied in Him.”

Piper talks about how we are designed and created to be happy and that this is what God wants for us. But God knows, what we so often try to ignore, that true happiness is only found in Him and when we realize our brokenness before him. 

“Happy are the people who’s God is the Lord,” Psalm 144:15 

Matthew 5:3 says, “Blessed are the pour in spirit.” I love this whole chapter. Jesus states that following Him is completely opposite of what makes sense to the world. But this verse specifically has always caught my attention and keeps showing up in my personal Bible reading, blog posts I’ve read, and today in a high school gym church service. To be blessed actually means to be happy. Such a shocking statement as it says essentially, “Happy are those who are poor in spirit,” but as we dug deeper my eyes were opened. The Greek word used in this verse for poor means to have literally nothing as a beggar with not one thing to bring to the table. 

The ones who realize they are nothing without grace.

The ones who see themselves for what they really are, worthless worms. 

The pastor then brought us to Luke 18:9-14 and this is when the tears came. Jesus is telling a parable (a story) as an example of two kinds of people. Two men, a Pharisee and a tax collector, go to the temple to pray. 

“The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayedthis: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.’ But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’ I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.” (emphasis added)

The Pharisees wanted other to see them as godly. Memorizing scripture, fasting and giving their money for the public to see, posting on social media… okay that last one I made up. But I realized this is me so often! I’m such a people pleaser and focus so much on wanting other people to like me. I don’t want to just be selfless, but I want others to think I’m selfless. I live so much of my life wanting everyone around me to approve of my actions and to see me as “good,” But how wrong I am to now see myself for what I truly am as a tax collector, a sinner, in desperate need of a Savior. 

Happy is the one who goes to God knowing they have nothing to offer. This person knows that without Christ there is no good thing to bring to the table. Happy is the person who falls on their knees before a holy God saying, “Jesus, I am nothing. I need you because you are everything!” 

So truly, “Blessed are the poor in spirit” because we only find true happiness when we realize our poor state, our lost spirit, and desperately cling to the Father.  

Jesus paid it all; all to Him I owe.

Sin had left a crimson stain;

He washed it white as snow.